It's another of those coldly crisp but clear days. The snowfall yesterday was beautiful, even in these dreary gray surroundings, but the ravenous whip of the wind makes that beauty hard to view. Kinda like my life, maybe everyone's life if it comes to that.. It's difficult to appreciate much with the wind stealing tears from the corner of your eyes.

Out of synch and always running against the clock, it really is no wonder that exhaustion and stress turn my mood to exceedingly cranky... and when those who are supposed to understand you best, simply don't, it only escalates. No poetry today.. only bitterness and a pervading sense of doom and imminent failure. Still.. it's good to be alive, in the space where change and improvement are always possible. Please sir, can I have another?
If I can't have a new life, I guess I'd better get back to the one I'm currently working on.

I'm looking for an anonymous space here in the cyberland of blogs. Kinda like when you get into a crowded club and you're intimately bumping and sliding among the gyrating bodies on the dance floor. You feel part of the group, yet you are a nameless entity pressing and being pressed.

Right now I'm being pressed on too many angles in my personal life with an altogether unpleasant pressure. So I'm looking to dance here.. I want to be the mysterious stranger, no ties, no name, red lipstick on your cheek and traces of perfume that temporarily make you weak. In reality I've forgotten how to do any of those things.. how to dance, how to flirt, how to laugh, how to let down my guard and allow myself to feel without judgement and constant analysis. I'm hoping to find others here who are looking to do the same.

What to tell, to give an idea of who I am... The older I get, the more I realize that nothing about me is neat. I'm a complex organism, student of human nature as well as academia, trying to finish up the LAST semester for my undergrad degree - an undertaking that is ten years behind schedule. But I'm a believer in the philosophy that everything happens as it was meant to. We have the power to make our lives/decisions, so I'm not saying it's predestiny. I've just learned to accept my life as it is, rather than wishing for a time machine. When I relax my stringent criterion, things have a way of working out in the manner that they should. At least that's my current philosophy I'm 33 yrs old, been in a relationship for 16 years and feel like I have yet to start living a life that is true to myself.

Anyhoots.. if you feel even remotely compelled, do drop in and leave a comment, introduce yourself, share your blog space and make a connection.